The Mother Of The Bride Who SHOULD NOT have been invited!

If you happen to be graced with a AA or A cup, ladies, have no fear! This Mother-of-the-bride-esque ensemble comes well equipped with it's very own set of traffic cones!! That's right, you could be the next Madonna look-a-like! However, there is a down side...or rather, a few.

1. The cleavage that comes with this top appears to have gangrene. You might want to get clearance from you doctor and be up-to-date with your shots before trying this baby on.

2. These traffic cones appear to have been run over. They are as limp as road kill. Who knows, maybe they were run over during duty on the highway. Should you dare to wear this piece of work, you might want to pump 'em up with some air.

3. It comes with a skirt. not just any skirt, oh no! This skirt goes all the way down to your ankles. Nothing says fashion like looking like a giant seaweed wrap. Delish!

FIRST!!

I'm laying claims to this post. This is the first post, and it is mine.

I was here first, and I'm letting everyone know it. And to keep this on topic, I'll show you a few things that were so heinous, I couldn't bear to even try them on.

See that...thing, that looks kind of like a band uniform with legs? Yeah. We saw that. And it has obvious signs of wear and tear. SOMEONE, ONCE, WORE THAT PIECE OF CLOTHING. And before you tell me, "Well, no shit Lynnafred, you're at Savers," you should hear me out.

This thing was one of the itchiest, most unsightly things I've seen at Savers, and I'm down there at least once a week. Yes, you heard right, I'm at Savers so often I might as well live there, and this was the first truly heinous thing I'd ever seen. Could it have been better as a two-pieced skirt ensemble? Maybe some lining in the top half could make it a little bit more bearable? Perhaps it needs a complete shit ton of some upcycling to make it wearable?

No. Stop it. Don't give that thing up there an ego boost. It can hear you. There is nothing that can possibly save gold lamé pants with a double-knit polyester top. That comes stock with gold piping.

It's in your nightmares now.

 Moving on, there was only one more thing that I found that I absolutely refused to have anything to do with, even though Nannerkins thinks that I could've saved it, and that was this:

That shirt is totally staring at my boobs.

Yes, you're seeing that right. It's a half-sleeve length shirt with roots in...what? Native-American Aztec awesomeness?

No, that's not right. It has its roots in a sweat shop in Indonesia. It's inspired by Native-American Aztecs. Shut up, they exist.

In all honesty, it's really not that bad. (Did you see that thing in the top of this post?!) But it's probably that thing shaped eerily like an eye in the center of it that weirded me out about it. Anna's right; I probably could have saved it. With some dark wash jeans and a necklace of some sort, and maybe even a yellow long sleeved shirt under it, it could have looked awesome.

But then it would have come to life, knifed me (in true Aztec fashion,) and used my body in some sort of mundane ritual. Like making its morning coffee. Seriously, you can't trust those Native-American Aztec shirts.